If you haven't checked out the new EX entertainment annex at Plaza Indonesia, do so right away. It's an important place to visit. It's the closest thing Jakarta has to a museum of anthropology, because it is a living shrine to this city's truest form of contemporary culture: conspicuous consumption. EX is short for - get ready for this - "Entertainment X'nter," because like so many other post-millennial Matrix-inspired inventions here it must have a series of meaningless letters including an 'X' in its name (Pasaraya's MPX Grande, anyone?). But EX is hardly a typical Jakarta mall. In fact, other than a handful of stores selling pricey knick knacks for bored urban teens, there's isn't really anything tangible to buy in a place where 'lifestyle' is not just a marketing message but the product itself.

EX's multiplex cinema boasts a lobby that rivals the Mulia Hotel in its plush grandeur, and is certainly the only place between Singapore and Sydney offering the opportunity to fork over US$7.50 to watch a B-grade romantic comedy (This is what I paid to see "Love, Actually". It was Awful, Actually. And yes I'm still bitter). Anyone worried about supposed religious radicalization in the world's largest Muslim country need only approach the cinema's snack bar, where ice cold Corona beer is sold indiscriminately at Rp50,000 a pop - something most cinemas in Europe or North America could never get away with. EX introduces other swanky new elements to Jakarta's modern-day cultural tapestry: huge plasma screens advertising trendy new hand phones, a glitzy bowling alley, a gargantuan space-age fitness club with EIGHTY treadmills, a gourmet pasta joint, a Formula One souvenir shop, an Irish sandwich bar (an Irish sandwich bar?!) – together creating a grand new playground for the city's privileged class. It is somehow fitting that EX is itself sandwiched between the Grand Hyatt and the new Embassy of Japan; it marries the ostentatious nature of the former with the hi-tech playfulness symbolized by the latter.

EX is just one of a plethora of vast new commercial spaces popping up all over the city. In the past year alone a staggering 70,000 square meters of retail space has been added to Jakarta's shopping scene. This mushrooming of malls seems an odd thing given that Indonesia's shattered economy hasn't really recovered at all. It's not due to increased consumer spending power, but because malls serve as escape pods; Cash-flush Jakartans can submerge themselves in these air-conditioned wombs and pretend they're in Singapore or Hong Kong, ignoring the toxic fumes and chaotic political motorcades just outside. As these malls proliferate, it becomes easier to skip from one to the other with very little 'street time' in between, and this is what led me to my Huge New Idea for the City, which I shall unveil, for the first time, right here.

The Jakarta Inter-Mall Transport Chute, or IMTCX (the X doesn't stand for anything but needs to be in there – see first paragraph) sounds like a revolution, but actually has its roots in the excellent 1970s futuristic cartoon series The Jetsons. The plan calls for the construction of an elaborate network of elevated, transparent chutes connecting each and every one of Jakarta's shopping malls. Vacuum pressure will blow people through the chutes and from one chute to the next (low noise factor, environmentally friendly, amusing); the journey from Plaza Senayan to Plaza Semanggi, for instance, will take 60 traffic-free seconds; it'll be the human Busway of the skies! Passenger fees will be levied via pre-paid cards, which can be topped up via sms on any hand phone. Few travelers will actually pay this fee, however, as malls will offer free transport credits to customers who waste enough money at their shops.

A percentage of mall revenue will be pumped back into the IMTCX to fund system maintenance and expansion, in turn ensuring a steady flow (or 'blow') of customers through the mall network. Since they will no longer drive cars to the mall, passengers will carry their purchases in aerodynamically designed shopping packs. Passengers who can prove they've had to leave their Mercedes S-Class or Jaguar at home will by way of compensation receive a custom-issue shopping pack boasting a huge logo of their luxury car brand so that they are not, God forbid, forced to compromise the vanity factor.

With all of this in place, the powers that be will no longer be expected to remedy Jakarta's troubles. Instead, IMTCX will allow the educated upper-middle classes, i.e. those whose voice and vote somehow still count, to bypass (or literally hover above) the city's problems in climate-controlled, pearl-milk-tea-induced consumer bliss. A gesture to social responsibility and human compassion will be built into the system as well: Special food court 'charity chutes' will allow concerned shoppers to dump their sambal-tinged Hoka Hoka Bento leftovers and Pizza Hut crusts straight down to the slums beneath, and this way the little people will not be forgotten.

It's all about being realistic.

Daniel Ziv is the author of Jakarta Inside Out and Bangkok Inside Out (Equinox Publishing) and was founding editor of Djakarta! - The City Life Magazine.

All photos by Daniel Ziv © 2004